Sunday, June 10, 2012

who am I

Living vicariously - can be almost just as fun until you are alone.... then it is all just living. I'm trying to refocus on who I am, who I want to be and what I should be doing. The horses were always my passion, I can't be around them very easily now - either I can't do any lifting or I can't breathe - family, I wanted a large family....., cooking, I used to cook for all the volunteers and before that family and in laws, ............ I'm hoping to re-learn who I am..... I recently chatted with someone who let me know I was not alone. A relative had been in a diabetic coma and afterwards was all out of "sync" and trying to figure out who they were. It does make me feel better and to know that I am not alone, but it is still very frustrating. It is like I aged 10 years when I was in the coma. I was fine (all things considered) and had very few aches and pains prior and now I have hip problems aches and pains all over, I don't sleep well - before I could sleep anytime, anywhere and through anything! I know God has a plan, but I have so much jealousy and fear and just unknown feelings that I am at a loss.....

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